Oddcicity of Dreams
by Pirate Cap'n Spazz
Summary: **NOW COMPLETED!!!**This is just a re-write of My Trigun Fic. I hope this version is 100 times better!!!! Enjoy!!!
1. Default Chapter

**Chapter 1; Oddcicity of Dreams**

Asuka was walking around the Chicago streets looking for someone. She saw someone and ran up to him and ran into the guy, not knowing how close it was since it was really dark.

"Ouch! That hurt!" she said, rubbing her nose, then her butt.

"Hey! It's you, Azi! Where ya been?" he asked, helping Azi up. 

"Hey Vashu!!" Azi said, giving him a hug.

"So, what did your mom say?"

"Is that really important...?"

"Did you even ask?"

"N-Yes?"

"Why didn't you ask? I don't need to have kidnapping charges added on to my name, y'know!"

"She'd say 'no'. Need I say why?"

"Well... I'd better take you home so you can ask."

Azi sighed and lets herself be dragged along by Vash. After a while they stop.

"Umm.... Where do you live?"

"Oh boy... Follow me." she said and started walking towards her house. "I kinda snuck out, so I need ya to lift me to the window."

"_WHAT?!_ So right now your mom thinks you're sleeping?!" he said, kinda freaking out.

"Yeah. Something like that." she shrugged and continued on her way.

They finally make it to Azi's house and Vash lifted her up to her window and heard Azi go downstairs. A few minutes later Azi came back to the window looking depressed.

"So, what did she say?" Vash asked.

"No." Azi replied.

"Well, sorry 'bout that! Mebbe next time we come you can come back with us!" he said, starting to walk off.

"Hey! I'm still coming!!"

_"What?!"_

"You heard! No way am I gonna miss a chance to go to a different planet! Lezz go!" she said, climbing out her window, throwing down her bag first.

"There's no winning with you, is there?"

"Nope! No winning at all!"

Vash mumbled something as they make their way to the Star Wars-ish looking ship.

"This looks like an X-Wing!" Azi said, somewhat amazed that she remembered what a X-Wing even looked like. "A larger than regulation size, X-Wing."

"Sh! Want us to get sued?!" Vash said, clamping his hand over Azi's mouth. She bites him and he yelped. "That hurt!" he whined.

"Serves you right." she said. "So... Can I fly it?"

"_NO!!_ That short insurance girl will have my _head_!! It was hard enough to get it from her and make the adjustments so it'll fly!" Vash said, slightly whining.

"Alls you had to say was 'no'. Sheesh!" she said following Vash to the ship.

Azi and Vash start on their way and blah blah blah. A little later while in the ship...

"_Sooo on the first celestial evening a pebble from somewhere fell out of nowhere upon the dreaming world..."_ Vash started singing softly.

"Vashu?" Azi asked.

"Yes?" 

"That was the 30 hundredth time you started singing that song."

"Umm... So?"

_"STOP SINGING!!!!"_

Vash started sulking. Azi was a bit ticked... Well, you'd be too if you were there... But fast forwarding a bit to when they land we will start watching again.

"Hey. Azi. Wake up." Vash said, poking Azi with a pen, trying to get her up.

"I'm up! I'm up! Stop poking me." Azi said sleepily, rubbing her left eye. "So, did we land?"

"Yup. Now all we hafta do is wait for Wolfwood to come with a couple thomases. Then we can be on our way!" Vash said smiling. He looks at Azi, she looks a bit festered. "Wazz wrong?"

"I... Hafta... _Usethepottey_..." she said quickly finishing her sentence.

"Doesn't this thing have a bathroom?!" Vash asked not believing what he just heard. "Guess not, huh?"

"Nuh-uh." she said and looked down. "I'm going to go behind those rocks. Follow me and die."

Vash saluted as she walked behind some rocks to... relieve herself. He just sat there, scanning the horizon, looking for any signs of Wolfwood. There's a little speck of dust in the distance. Vash jumped up and starts yelling at the top of his lungs: _"WOLFWOOD!!! OVER HERE!!!!"_

Azi came back and gave Vash a weird look. She doesn't notice that the speck of dust is getting bigger.

"What were you yelling at? _EH?!_" Azi said, seeing the now huge speck of dust.

It seemed to be yelling: _"YO!!! VASHU! IZZAT YOU?!"_

"I-It's talking?!?!"

"It's only Wolfwood." Vash said reassuringly. "He should have a few thomases for us to ride."

"Vashu? Da hell are Thomases? We aren't riding _bagels_, are we?" Azi asked.

"Umm... I guess they are Earth's equivalent of horses. Just butt ugly."

"Oh goody."

A few minutes later a man in black comes with two extra thomases. He waves at Vash and at Azi. Then just stares at Azi's clothing.

"What?! Stop staring at me!! Have you never seen an Invader Zim T-shirt before?!" she said, pulling her coat around her. "You're makin' me paranoid! Jeez!"

"Me? Making you paranoid?! You're the one with weird clothes!" the guy said.

"At least I ain't wearing a black suit in the desert!" she shot back.

"But you are wearing black right now." Vash pointed out.

"Thank you Captain Obvious!!" she said. "So, we hafta ride these 'lovely' creatures?"

"Yup. Can you manage to even get on?" the guy asked sarcastically as he got on one of the thomases.

"May I please know your name?" Azi asked him.

"Wolfwood." he answered. "Why?"

"Now when I'm famous I'll make a point not to like you." she said, getting on the thomas with some difficulty.

"Need help?" Vash asked, setting her properly on the saddle.

"Erm... Thanks..." Azi mumbled as they make their way to wherever Vash lives.

A few hours later they reach a house which is a bit shabby, but Vash lives there! So of course it looks abandoned. Vash leads them out back to where a small stable is and they leave the thomases there.

"Inside looks a _lot_ better than the outside does. I promise." Vash said to Azi because he saw her face when they approached the building. "Just be ready to wake up at 5 in the morning on certain days. Those insurance girl's don't give me that much rest."

"Oh boy..." she said. "As long as I get my own room, I don' give a damn what time they come. Lemme just answer the door once! At least once!"

"Why wouldya wanna do that, kid?" Wolfwood asked.

"I dunno. Mess with them I guess. By da way, I'm Asuka. Call me Azi, though!" she said, sounding a lot more friendly.

"So what's with the sudden change of attitude?"

"I dunno. Probly 'cause I can use the restroom on a toilet and not behind rocks."

"I see your point."

@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@ 

Azi: Look... HTML crap..... Mwaha.....

Vash: You're proud of yourself, aren't you?

Azi: Yup! =^_\ As you hould know, this is based off of a dream that I was in, that I had. So don't be flaming me accussing me of Mary Sueing! Well, I am actually... ;;;=^_\


	2. Wake Up Call at the Butt-Crack o' Dawn!!...

**Chapter 2; Oddcicity of Dreams**

In the last installment of this screwed up fic, Azi came to Planet Gunsmoke with Vash and met Wolfwood. 

They go inside Vash's house and Azi picked out her room. Wolfwood wanted that room, but Azi wouldn't leave until she was sure she had it. After she was sure, she unpacked some of her clothes. Not much, but then again it was a lot of clothes. She mostly brought some of her comics and a lot of her drawing stuff.

Vash barely has any food since he wasn't there for a while, so the three decided to go out for dinner. Azi got a few weird looks since she was wearing her Invader Zim shirt and had gym shoes and a cape on. It wasn't the cape that got her the looks, as it would have done on Earth, it was her shirt.

"_Vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaashu!_ Why does everyone keep looking at me?" Azi whined, pulling on his sleeve.

"Well, I think it's your shoes. No one has that here. Well, the Invader Zim thing, I mean." he said, shrugging. "Anyways, we are just going to a saloon, so you can look as weird as you want, they'll think you're from one of those strange towns, like October or something."

"Whazz with the cities named after months? And why is October a strange town?!"

"That's the only place that celebrates Halloween, pip-squeak." Wolfwood said, shrugging also.

"Call me pip-squeak again. I dare you!" Azi said, pointing at Wolfwood and giving him a dirty look.

_"Pip-squeak! Pip-squeak! Pip-squeak!"_

"That's it!! You're going down!!! _GLADIATOR!!!_"

Azi tackled Wolfwood and to make a short story long, oops, I mean, to make a long story short, Azi and Wolfwood caused a major scene.

"You guys.... You should stop...." Vash pleaded.

_"STAY OUTTA THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_ Wolfwood and Azi yelled at the same time. Then their stomachs growled really loud and they sweatdropped.

"I can't believe you guys!" Vash said, entering the tavern. "I'm surprised we even got here!!"

"He started it." Azi protested.

"Yeah right." Wolfwood said, sitting down at the bar.

"Wolfwood, we hafta sit at a table. We have a minor with us." Vash said, dragging him by the shirt collar to a table.

"Aw! C'mon Tongari!!! Lemme just have _one_ drink! Then I'll come to the table!!!" Wolfwood pleaded as he was being dragged to a table. "I'll start a scene!!"

"You can get beer from here!" Vash said, plopping down in his seat.

"They take too long! By the time they get here, I won't want it!!" Wolfwood whined.

"Stop whining you baby!" Azy said, whipping a spoon at him, but missed. "So, what can we get, Vashu?"

"Whatever is affordable!" Vash sighed, almost getting his nose cut off by Wolfwood, because he threw a knife at Azi. "I guess I'm the parent tonight. Wolfwood, go to the bar. Don't cause any trouble."

"Yes!" Wolfwood said and started running for the bar but stops dead in his tracks. "Ouch..."

"Heh heh. I luv fork throwin'. Almost as much fun as tipping cows!" Azi commented, holding up another fork. "I need to work on my aim though."

_"WHY YOU LITTLE!!!!"_ Wolfwood yelled, pulling the fork out of his butt. _"I'LL KILL YOU!!"_

Everyone in the saloon looks at Wolfwood. He sweatdrops.

"You certainly are an odd priest. Oh well. If ya want a fight, you found one!" Azi said, grabbing more forks. 

"Huh?" Wolfwood said in surprise. "GYA!! I need a drink."

"Yeah. You go do that." Azi said, flinging another fork at Wolfwood's butt. "You should try it, Vashu. It's fun!"

"Ok." Vash said taking a fork and flinging it at Wolfwood. Direct hit. "You're right! This is fun!!"

Well, Vash and Azi ate dinner while Wolfwood got as drunk as a skunk and forgot who he was.

"Wolfwood, it's time to go." Vash said, tapping Wolfwood's shoulder.

"Hey, buddy! I 'on't know who ya is! But I isn't Woolwood! I'm friggin' Vash da Stamped!"

Everyone looks at the drunken Wolfwood kind of funny.

"Umm.... Umm...." Azi started, looking for something of Wolfwood's to snatch. "Aha!! Hey, dude! I got your wallet! Come get me if you can!!" she said, waving it in his face and running towards Vash's house.

"Gi' 'at bac! 'Ey!! C'mere!!!" Wolfwood said drunkilly, chasing Azi. Well, poorly chasing Azi.

_"WAIT UP!!!"_ Vash said, chasing the two.

'Amazingly' Azi kept far enough ahead not to be caught by Wolfwood. Vash... well, he's another story... Azi tosses the wallet to Wolfwood, but it hits him square in the face. He falls over. Vash trips over Wolfwood and Azi sighed and helped them up.

"Are you sober yet?" Azi asked.

"Yes. But I wish I wasn't." Wolfwood said.

"Why?" Vash asked.

"'Cause you and pip-squeak over there threw forks at my ass!!" Wolfwood said rubbing his butt. "You guys got me good!"

"You're still alive. Lezz go, it's getting cold." Vash said, walking in whatever direction his house is. Azi and Wolfwood follow.

A few minutes later(more like hours, Vash got them lost), they got to the house and went inside. Azi went to her room and fell asleep almost as soon as she hit the bed. Vash and Wolfwood stayed up, getting drunk.

At the butt-crack of dawn someone's pounding on the door. Since Vash and Wolfwood where drunk, they were out. Very out.

"_HELLO?!?!_ Vashu! We know you're in there!! Open up!!" said a female voice through the front door. A big yawn was heard.

"Senpai, maybe we came too early. Mr. Vashu could be sleeping." another voice said.

Azi came down the stairs in shorts(they go past her knees), and in a baggy T-shirt. She yawned and opened the door.

"Mmm-yello?" Azi said drowsily. ""How can I help yous?"

"Umm... Well, I'm Meryl Stryfe from the Bernardelli Insurance Company." the short black haired woman said.

"I'm her partner, Milly Thompson!" said the taller, more cheerful looking woman. "Is Mr. Vashu home?"

"Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilly!" Meryl said through clenched teeth. "We probably have the wrong house, don't frighten her!"

"Vashu? I'll go wake him up. Wait here a sec!" Azi said, closing the door and heading for the kitchen. 

"Huh?" Meryl said.

"Vaaaaaaaaaashu!! Vashy, Vashy, Vashu! These two girls are at the.. He's sleeping..."

"Did you say girls?" Vash asked, sitting up straight.

"Yeah. A really tall and short one..." Azi said as Vash zoomed past.

"Oh. It's just you two. I thought some pretty girls might have co-_OW!!!_ What was that fer?" Vash said rubbing his head. "You're always mean to me! What did I do?"

"Why did you kidnap a little girl?!?!" Meryl demanded, hitting Vash again.

"_OW!_ I didn't kidnap her! Azi came here of her own free will! Isn't that right?" Vash said, looking at Azi hopefully.

"Yeah! I came here 'cause I wanted to! He didn't want to take me, but I came anyway!" Azi said, with a mater-of-fact kind of tone. 

"Well, do you want to come in?" Vash asked, rubbing his head where he was hit. "I can make breakfast. If we have anything..."

"Wow! Thanks so much, Mr. Vashu!" Milly said cheerfully. A little too cheerfully.

"Milly! We are here for work! Not a visit!" Meryl fumed.

"Aw, c'mon! I don't mind! We just hafta move Wolfwood..." Vash said, ducking inside, leaving Azi with the two insurance ladies.

"So... Uh... Wanna come in?" Azi asked, sweatdropping.

"I have a shampoo that can get that out." Meryl said, pointing to the sweatdrop. "And yes, we would."

"I don't need any special shampoo.." Azi mumbled as she led the two women into the kitchen. "Wow. Vashu cleaned up pretty quick."

Meryl gave Azi a weird look and sat down at the kitchen table. Milly does the same.

"I'll go see what Vashu is doin'!" she said and ran upstairs. "Phew! That short lady keeps giving me dirty looks!"

"Who does?"

"EEK!!! Oh, it's just you, Wolfwood." Azi said. "You nearly gave me a friggin' heart attack!!! Jeez!!"

"Well, sorry. Who's here?" Wolfwood asked, looking over the railing and trying to look into the kitchen. "Who? Who? Are they girls? Are they beautiful girls?"

"I have half a mind to push you over t 

"He should be here in a few minutes, I hope." Milly said optimistically.

!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@! 

Azi: Yay-ness!! I'm gonna quit with the after chapter stuff for a bit. So, bye until then!!


	3. MWAHAHA!!! CAHPTER 3!!!!!!!

**Chapter 3; Oddcicity of Dreams**

In the last part (ch 2) Vash, Azi, and Wolfwood finally got to the saloon and ate and stuff, well, after that, they went home and at the buttcrack of dawn, Millie and Meryl came looking for Vash. Azi was finding Vash because Meryl made her uncomfortable.

"VASHU!!!" Azi yelled when she opened the door to his bedroom. "Vashu! That Meryl woman was giving me dirty looks and she wants to see you!!!"

"What? Aw, man!! I don't want to talk to her!!!" Vash whined. "Do I hafta?"

"Vaaaaaaaashu!! Don't give me that face!! Ugh!! I can't believe you!" Azi said, storming out of Vash's room and going downstairs into the kitchen.

"Is Vashu coming?" Meryl asked.

"He should be. Can I offer you any cereal if we have any?" Azi asked sarcastically.

"Do you have any pudding?" Millie asked.

Azi checked the fridge and shook her head. She got out three bowls, some milk, spoons, and some cereal. She plopped her butt down next to Millie and started eating.

"So, where did you come from?" Meryl asked, trying to be nice Azi guessed.

"Earth." Azi said between mouthfuls. "Yeah. Earth. Quite a bit away if you don't go into hyperspace. If we didn't, and with the way Vashu pilots a ship, we'd still be out there."

"I'd believe that too." Meryl muttered.

"Really? You seem to be one of those non-believers, to me." Azi said, with her mouth full. "Well, I'm gonna go and get dressed. And see if Vashu is 'presentable'."

Millie nodded, and Meryl just watched Azi go up the stairs. Azi ran to her room and put her IZ shirt and black jeans on. She goes to Vash's room and knocked on the door again.

"Vashu!! Are you dressed yet?! Meryl is starting to get really PMS-ey on me!!" Azi yelled through the door. No answer. "Dammit, Vashu!! I'm coming in!!!!"

Azi backs away to run into the door and started running, but Vash opens the door before she hits it and ran right into Vash.

"Ouch... Whatwazzatfer?! Vashu, Meryl wants to talk to you, go down stairs!!!" Azi said, rubbing her nose. "I think they brought doughnuts."

"Doughnuts?! I'm there!!" Vash says and zooms downstairs faster that you can say moo.

Well, Vash got downstairs and let out a scream, Azi ran downstairs to find out what was going on and Wolfwood shrugged, guessing that Vash hurt himself somehow.

"Vashu! Are you all right?" Azi asked, running into the kitchen. _"HUH?!?!"_

"No! No! You _can't_ repossess my house!! I've been good!! I didn't destroy anything lately!! How come I can't keep the house?!" Vash whined.

"I'm sorry, Vashu, but it's our job to do that." Meryl said.

"What if you write a letter saying that you'll destroy something if you can't keep your house, Mr. Vashu?" Millie asked, sounding over optimistic.

_"MILLIE!!!!"_ Meryl yelled. "He can't do that!! They'll send the Feds after him!!!"

"But it is an idea." Azi said. "I mean - Vashu _is_ the humanoid typhoon, right?"

The three nod.

"So, why would they do anything to anger the one person responsible for destroying July?"

"Hey! You have a point!! I'll start on that letter right now!!" Vash said, seeing this as a way to get away from Meryl. "Thanks Azi!!!"

"Yes, thank you ever so much." Meryl said through clenched teeth.

"You welcome." Azi replied cheerfully, sitting on the counter. "Mebbe you can take the letter back to your work place?"

"Sure! We'd be glad to!!" Millie says.

_"MILLIE!!!!!"_ Meryl is getting very impatient.

"Yes, ma'am?" Millie asked.

"Why did you agree to that?" Meryl questioned.

"I'm just trying to be helpful..." Millie replied.

"I know, but being helpful all the time isn't such a good idea!" Meryl said.

"Oh, leave her alone." Azi said. "Stop acting like you're the bitch-queen of the universe."

That made Meryl go off the deep end...

"Oh really? Is that what you think of me? Does your mother know you're using that kind of language?"

"Mebbe, and mebbe not. It's not any of your business anyway!"

"Yeah, well you should be punished for speaking rudely to an adult!!" Meryl shot back.

"Really?! You don't look like an adult!!!" Azi answered.

By now, they are in each other's faces, shouting rude remarks. Finally, Meryl gets fed up and slaps Azi. She staggered back and gave Meryl a cold, evil look, then smiled.

"Tag, you're it." Azi said, slapping Meryl.

"How _dare_ you!!!!!!" Meryl says and slaps her again. This results in a slapping fight.

"Whoa!! Ladies, settle down!!!" Vash said, pulling them apart.

"Midget!"

"Smelly Earth kid!!"

"_'Smelly Earth kid'_? Is that the best you can come up with?!" Azi demanded. "You can't even call names right, you damned bitch creature from Hell!"

"Whoa! Watch the language, Azi!" Vash said, after placing Meryl and Azi in different seats.

"Sorry, Vashu." Azi apologized. "But she _is_ the Queen of the Bitches!!"

"Be that as it may, she's still an adult and needs to be treated with respect." Vash started with his lecture tone.

"Hey! I'm not a bitch!" Meryl protested.

"Well, anyway, Azi go do something, I need to talk to Meryl and Millie about the house." Vash said. "You can go into town if you want."

"You better not lose the house." Azi mumbled. "Can I buy anything?"

"Yeah, use whatever money you can find." Vash started. "Just don't take all of it, OK?"

"I won't!" Azi smiled and walked to Wolfwood's room.

To Azi's surprise, Wolfwood was asleep. She smiled and took his wallet and tip-toed out of his room. Wolfwood rolled over and pulled the blankets over his head.

Once outside, Azi takes a deep breath and smiles. _'What shall I do today?'_ she thought as she trotted to town. Azi got a few weird looks when she walked into town because she was wearing an IZ shirt and they ain't got those there! Well, anyway Azi went to a couple of stores and found one like Hot Topic.

"Whoa... This place is really cool!" she commented when she steps in.

"Looking for anything peticular?" the clerk asked. She shakes her head no. "OK, just tell me if you see something that you like."


	4. A Giant Harisen & Lot's O' Flames!!!

**Chapter 4; Oddcicity of Dreams**

In chapter 3, Azi went to a store like Hot Topic and stuff happened before that!!!!

Azi walked around the store, fascinated by all the stuff that was so like the stuff in a real Hot Topic store(it's true, I don't get out much...). She was walking around, not paying attention to where she was going and bumped into someone.

"Sorry!" Azi said, catching a bottle that fell off the shelf. "Wasn't paying attention!"

"Maybe you should be more perspective of your surroundings, Asuka." the person said. She looked up and saw a golden eye(yes folks, just an eye) staring coldly at her.

The person that the eye belonged to had blue hair and some of it was covering his left eye. He was wearing a white trench coat, but Azi didn't notice what else he had because she couldn't seem to look away.

"Like I said, I'm sorry." she shrugged. "Anyway. Howdya know my name, Mister?"

"That might be explained later." he said, walking past her and out of the store.

_"Freak!!!"_ she said, sticking her tongue out after he left.

Azi walked around the store a bit more and decided to buy herself a coat. She already had one, but she wanted a new one. She asked the clerk and he got it down for her and she bought it. She also bought a fan-looking like thing and strapped it to her back(basically Tasuki's coat and his tessen). Cost Wolfwood most of his money, though. Azi put the coat on and was on her way. She bought some candy and doughnuts as well. _'Might as well,'_ she thought. _'Wolfwood is gonna be so pissed when he finds all this money missin'!'_

"I'm hoooooooooooooooome!!!!!!" Azi said with her most cheerful voice as she walked through the door. But something was amiss. "Eh? Vashu? Wolfwood? This isn't funny..."

She walked through the house and wound up in the kitchen. _'Well, might as well set a little trap!!'_ she thought gleefully, taking out Wolfwood's wallet and the doughnuts she bought. She put the two items under a giant box and hid in a cabinet, awaiting her "prey".

Soon enough, the door slammed and Vash's yawn was cut short by sniffing sounds.

"I smell... Doughnuts!!!" he exclaimed and fell for Azi's trap and gets hit with an extremely large, heavy-looking, metal fan. _"OUCH!!!!!!"_

"Are you passed out yet?" Azi asked.

_"WHY WOULD I?!?!"_ Vash yelled, holding his head where he was hit. "Where'd you get that tessen anyways? Why is it made of metal?"

"Isn't it obvious?" she asked impatiently.

"Whazz obvious?" Vash asked, finally getting ice on his head.

"I'm a big fan of Tasuki!!!!" she said, putting the fan back in it's "holster".

"Ta-what-y?" Vash asked. "Who's that? Is it a girl?"

"Puh-lease, Vash!! If Tasuki was a girl, I wouldn't really want that coat, now would I? I wonder if..." she mumbled, taking the tessen out again and going out into the backyard. _"Rekka Shinnen!!!!"_

"Wazzat s'posedta d-_OMIGOD!!!!!!!!!!_" Vash exclaimed, his eyes nearly popping out (eww....) "Azi!!! How'd you do that?!?!

"Huh? Didn't think it'd be the real thing y'know?" she shrugged. "Now I'll show that blue-haired freak to know my name without me tellin' him first!!!!!"

"So? What happened to all of my money?" asked the voice who could only belong to Wolfwood!

"Ah shit!" Azi said. "Uh... Uh... It blew away!! Yeah that's it!! It blew away!!"

"Blew away my ass! You're in deep trouble, Asuka Cikara!!" Wolfwood threatened.

__

"I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE CALL ME ASUKA!!!!!!" Azi yells. _"IT'S AZI!!! AZIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!"_

"Keep it down, will ya? I was only gonna ask you what you spent it on!" Wolfwood said, picking his ear. "If I go deaf, I'm sueing!"

"Me too! That was really loud, Azi!" Vash whined. "So, what didja spend it on?"

"I got candy, this coat, the tesen, doughnuts, more candy, and more candy." Azi stated.

"Oh. You spent _my_ money on crap." Wolfwood nodded. "Well, I'm gonna just go sulk and wonder how a kid like you could get my wallet."

Wolfwood went inside and Vash trotted in and grabbed the doughnuts and sits on the back porch. Azi comes over and sits next to him, taking a glazed doughnut.

"Hm. Who knew this place had Entimin's?"

"Wazzat, Azi?" Vash asks in wonder. "Wazz ventimins?"

"_'Entimin's'_! It's a huge company that makes doughnuts and other pastries." she said, finishing that doughnut. 

"Oh. Who were you talking about earlier?"

"Huh? Who? The blue-haired guy?"

"Yeah. Did he have a white trench coat?"

"Yup. I think he had spikes on one shoulder, too. I'm not sure though, we had a 'friendly' stare-off."

"Uhm... Right... Well, you should stay away from him. He's capable of doing terrible things." Vash said, staring off.

"Yeah, well so can I!" Azi said, taking the last doughnut. "I mean, who would mess with me now that I have this tessen? What could that guy possibly do?"

"You don' wanna know."

"Yes I do!!"

"No you don't."

"Yeah-huh!"

"Nuh-huh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"Nuh-huh!!!"

"What are you two bickering about now?!" Wolfwood complained from the back door. "I can hear you through my pillow, my closed bedroom door, _and_ the screen door! Wazz yer friggin' problem?!"

"I wanna meet that blue-haired guy and teach him a lesson fer knowing my name without telling him!!!" Azi said, jumping up, taking out the tessen.

"Wazz with the paper fan?" Wolfwood smirked. "Gonna give him a paper cut?"

This slightly sent Azi off the deep end and she set Wolfwood on fire. He screamed and rolled about a bit until the fire went out. He looked really mad...

_"WHAT WAZZAT FER?!?!"_ Wolfwood seethed. Azi picked the one ear and shrugged.

"I dunno." she answered. "'Cause I felt like it?"

"Why I ouda-!! You little-!! GAH!!!!!!!!" Wolfwood yelled and stormed off into his room.

"Wow. That must be a powerful tool if it made Wolfwood speechless, eh Azi?" Vash asked smiling.

"Yup." she replied. "Now to wreak havoc upon the town!!!" she said, standing up. Vash sat her back down.

"Not on my watch, kiddo." he said.

"Aw, c'mon Vashu!!! Why not?" she whined. "I won't burn anyone really bad!!"

"Take a second and think. Fire + Hot Desert planet = Worse damage than you thought." he pointed out.

"Oh." she said, standing up. "Oh well!! Cya later!!!"

Azi started walking towards town when she gets a feeling that she is being watched. She stopped and listened, once she discerns that no one is there, she continues walking. _'I don't like this feeling...'_ she thought. _'It's too... there!_

_"AZZZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!! WAIT UP!!!!"_ whined Vash, running towards her. She smacks her forehead.

"So you're coming because...?" she asked.

"Can't... **pant** Let.... **wheeze** You... **cough** Torch... **hack** Stuff!!" he barely got out before he fell over, gasping for breath.

"Uhm... Right..... Well you stay here and fend off the vultures while I go and do stuff!!" she said, starting to walk towards the town again.

_"NOOoooooooOOOOOOoooooooooooooOOOOOo!!!"_ Vash panted, tackling Azi's feet and causing her to fall to the ground.

_"WHY YOU...!"_ she said holding her nose. "If it's broken, I'm suing!!"

"Sorry!! I just can't let you destroy stuff!!!" Vash said apologetically.

"I wasn't going to destroy stuff! I was going to get that blue-haired guy!!!!!"

"But that will be the cause of stuff being destroyed and everyone will blame it on me!!!" he whined. "Do you want that to happen to me?"

"Hmm... Let me think..." she said, looking thoughtful.

"I'll kick you out." he threatened.

"Rats..." she mumbled and walked back to the house with Vash.

!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@! 

Azi: Yeah.... _really_ sorry 'Bout the FY references... Tasuki's just too cool!! Whee!!! **starts running in circles**

Vash: Who gave her sugar?!

**Legato, Sephiroth, Naruto, and Kakashi start whistling**

Vash: I shoulda known...


	5. Demon Shadow Kitty's & MORE!!!

**Chapter 5; Oddcicity of Dreams**

"Vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaashu!!! I wanna check out the town!!! I have a bad feeling and I wanna see if there's anything wrong!!" Azi pleaded, while her and Vash trudged to his house. "I won't bring the fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Azi! I don' wanna! What if Legato's there?! Whadwe do then? I'm not about to get into a gunfight with you around!" Vash answered, walking into the house.

"_PLEASE?!?!_ First sign of trouble we leave???" she asked. Vash shook his head. Azi whipped out the puppy dog face. "Please? Pretty, pretty please?"

"GAH!!! Fine. Go put that fan in yer room and let's go." he said, pouting. "I hate it when she uses that face!!!"

"Ready!" she said as she bounced down the steps with a smile on her face. Vash grumbles. "C'mon!"

"WHOA!!" Vash said as he was pulled from the front hall and into the town.

"This.... Isn't right..." Azi said, stopping once she ran halfway into town. "Where is everybody?"

"Dunno." Vash said, dusting himself off.

_~They are all dead.~_ echoed a voice in their heads. _~You may meet the same fate these townsfolk did.~_

"What in the name of...?" Azi whispered. "I... Know that voice... It's that blue-haired freak's voice!!!"

"His name's Legato." Vash said, smacking his forehead. "Du'h!"

"You're so mean!!" Azi whined.

While Vash was teasing Azi, they didn't notice Legato come up to them. He had to clear his throat about three times...

"Jeez you two are thick-headed." Legato said quietly.

_"WE ARE NOT THICK-HEADED!!!!!!"_ Vash and Azi yell at the same time.

"Yeah, whatever. Well I'm here to issue you a challenge from my Master, Vash the Stampede." Legato said.

"Hi blue-haired freak." Azi said.

"It's 'Legato'." he hissed. _"L-E-G-A-T-O!!!"_

"Don' hafta scream." she said, picking her ear. "So what kinda challenge is this?"

"_AZI!!!_ Shush!!" Vash said, covering her mouth, sweatdropping. "So, yeah, what kind of challenge is it?"

"A duel. Anything goes kind of duel." Legato said. "Hint. Hint."

"What's with the 'hint, hint's?" Vash asked.

"You can use your six-shooter, rocks, sticks..." he starts. _"Angel Arms."_

"What are 'Angel Arms'?" Azi asked, looking innocent. "Can I come watch the duel?"

"Ask Vash, I gotta go. A saloon three towns over is having a bake sale." he said, shrugging. "Yeah, I guess you can."

"Yay!!!"

"Not yay!! You can get hurt, Azi!!!!" Vash said. "Hey! Waitasec!! Where is the duel?!"

"I think it's by Dhimitri...Or something like that..." Legato said. "I'm hungry and I can't think straight... Wait! Yeah, It's at Dimithri, not Dhimitri!"

"Is that a joke? Or is there really two town's that put the 'H' in different places?" Azi asked. Vash shook his head. "Well, we'll cya there then, I guess."

"OK!! Be there around 5!!!!" Legato said, walking off and waving.

"Bye Leggie!!!!!" Azi said, waving back.

"'Leggie'?" Vash asked while they were walking home.

"Yeah. 'Legato' just gets boring after a while, y'know?"

"I guess..."

Somewhere else at the moment, no not that town three towns over....

"Did you deliver my message, Legato?" asked the all too evil and ominous voice of (bum bum buuuuum!!!!) Knives.

"Yes, Master. He accepted."

"Excellent." Knives said evilly, doing the hand thing Mr. Burns does. "Did you also pick up the video game I wanted?"

"Yessir. Final Fantasy XXXIII." Legato said, giving Knives the package.

Knives started acting like a giddy little schoolgirl.

"Yes!! It's finally mine!! Mine and not Vash's!! _MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!_ Ha ha!"

Then back to Vash's house where just stuff is going on. Azi is teasing Wolfwood, Vash is sitting in the background, munching on doughnuts and watching Azi tease Wolfwood. Then finally they go to bed.

Azi stayed up and draws and sighs and nearly scares the crap outta herself thinking a shadow was some sort of demon kitty or whatever. But it actually moves and an earth-shattering scream is heard.

_"VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!"_

"_WHAT?!?!_ What's wrong?!"

_"DEMON SHADOW KITTY!!!!!!!"_

"Demon shadow kitty...?" Vash started, when a cat jumps on his face. _"AGH!!! GET IT OFF!!! GET IT OFF!!!!"_

"Fer the love of God, Vashu! Stop screaming!!!" Wolfwood said, throwing a rock at his head where the supposed demon shadow kitty was.

"OW!!! You hit my nose!!!" Vash yelled. "WHADDYA DO THAT FER?!?!

"'Cause you were screaming like a little girl!!" Wolfwood retorted. "Tongari!!!"

"'TONGARI'?!?! Me?! _You_ are the 'tongari'!!!" Vash yelled back.

Vash and Wolfwood kept on calling each other names while the demon shadow kitty sat next to Azi.

_~What a bunch of fools.~_ a voice echoes in her head.

"Nice to see you again, Leggie." Azi said. The cat gives her a sideways glance.

_~I can claw you to pieces right now Asuka.~_ he said, staring at the dust cloud which is now where Vash and Wolfwood are. _~I am here to give a date to when the duel is supposed to be. But it seems that I came at a bad time?~_

"Yeah. But why where you sneaking around _my_ room?" Azi asked, looking at the Legato-possessed cat.

__

~That is none of your buisness.~

"Aw!! You look so cute when you have a pouty kitty face!!" she said and started petting him under the chin.

Vash and Wolfwood stop their fight, after hearing Azi talking to the cat. Legato starts to purr, but stops abruptly.

_~Stop that!!!~_ he snapped, swiping at Azi's hand.

"Hey!! Don't do that, Leggie!!"

"'Leggie?'" Wolfwood and Vash ask at the same time.

"Um... Uh... Riiiight......" Azi said, sweatdropping. She picks up the cat. "Uhm... Let's go get you some milk, Kitty!!! Yeah..."

_~I demand that you let me go!!~_ Azi squeezes him tighter. ~Don't touch me right there!!!~

"Sorry! Sorry! I don' know a cat's anatomy! Hope I didn't bruise your... y'know...." Azi said, reaching the kitchen. "Might as well get us some milk since we're here, right?"

_~I guess so.~_ Legato thought-spoke. He glanced at Azi getting some cereal out. _~C-Can I have some with my milk?~_

"I'm tellin' ya now, I'm not taking care of a sick cat, but OK." she said as she poured some milk in a shallow bowl and poured some cereal into it. "Happy?"

"Uhm... Wolfwood, why is she talking to the suspiciously blue-furred cat?" Vash asked.

"Don' know. Don' care." he answered.

"So, Leggie, can you change shape? Or do you just like possessing cats?" Azi asked, stealing a marshmallow out of his bowl.

__

~THAT WAS MY MARSHMALLOW!!!!! No, I can possess things. I guess. I'm doing that now...~

"Uhm... Yeah...."

?html> 


	6. DOOM!!!!!!

**Chapter 6; Oddcicity of Dreams**

"So, when should we go to Dimithri?" Azi asked, taking another marshmallow from the Legato-possessed kitty's bowl.

_~STOP STEALING MY MARSHMALLOWS!!!!!!~_ he hissed, nearly clawing Azi's hand up. _~Ahem. Next week tomarrow.~_

"Okie-dokie, and tomorrow's Tuesday.... So how long should it take Vash and me to get there?" she asked.

"You had to bring a crazy girl here, didn't you, Tongari?" Wolfwood asked, punching Vash in the head.

"OW!!! She's not crazy!" Vash said, holding his head. "Don't make fun of my friends!"

"Don't make fun of my Angelina II." Wolfwood shot back.

"Deal."

_~Two days ride from here.~_ Legato-kitty said, licking his paws.

"Wow. That's it? I thought it would take longer." Azi admitted. "The name just makes it sound real far, huh?"

_~Yup. Well, I gotta go, Nearly midnight.~_

"WAITASEC!!!!!" Azi said picking up the cat. The cat just stares at her with a curious look on it's face.

"Nya...?" the cat meowed. Azi sweatdrops.

"I'm staying up too late...." she mumbled and puts the cat down and goes to her room with the cat following her.

Vash and Wolfwood shrug and go to their own rooms and lock their doors in fear of another demon shadow kitty.

**Next week, Sunday:**

"So you guys are going to a duel?" Wolfwood asked, looking at Vash and Azi like they were crazy. "You're going to have a duel with Knives?"

"I am. Azi is just being weird and is going to watch..." Vash admitted, sweatdropping.

"YUP!!!!" Azi smiled, packing some popcorn in her mouth. "Fis id gong de bood!!"

"Huh?! Whaddya say?!" Wolfwood asked, looking confused.

"I said _'this is going to be good!!!'"_

"Let's get going before we start a fight, Azi!" Vash said, pushing Azi towards the thomases. "Bye Wolfwood!!"

"BYEEE!!!!!!" Azi said, getting on a thomas.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever." he mumbled and closed the door. "YIPEE!!! I get the house to myself!! Time to run around in my underwear!!!!"

The so-called demon shadow kitty, now named Sakura, meowed boredly and went to Azi's room. Wolfwood sticks his tongue out at the cat.

"I'll do what I want, cat!!"

"Vashu? Wolfwood is talking to the cat." Azi said, looking in through the window. "That's nice. C'mon, get on the thomas. We need to get going." Vash said, helping Azi up. 

"How come we can only take one thomas?"

"'Cause we will go faster."

"Oh. Ok then!!"

The two camped out that night and continued the next day, once they got to Dimithri though, Azi started getting a bit weird.

"DUDE!!! I haven't seen so many trees in one place!!!"

_~You brought a human with you, Vashu?~_ a male voice echoed in their heads.

"Ok, I'm really going crazy now." Azi said.

"I wish you were. That would be one less human in my way." the harsh voice said, not echoing in their heads.

"Knives." Vash said quietly.

"Hello Vashu. It's nice to see you again." Knives said. He wrinkled his nose as he looked at Azi. "Who is the human?"

"I am Asuka." she said. "It's very nice to meet you..... Uh... Your name is Knives, right? 'Cause that is wha..."

"Quiet human." Knives commanded. "If you are going to watch our duel, go on that hill. Legato is there as well."

"Really?" Azi asked. "Vashu, I'm gonna take my bag of candy!"

Vash sweatdropped as Azi took her bag and trotted up the hill to meet up with Legato. She sits on the hill and watches Vash and Knives. Vash waved and she waved back.

"Is she always like that, Vashu?" Knives asked.

"Unfortunately, yes." Vash answered.

"Hello Asuka." Legato said from behind her. "It seems that you are do-OOF!! _WAZZ WITH THE SUDDEN SHOWER OF AFFECTION?!?!"_

"Hi Leggie!!! It's been a while!!" Azi said. "It seemed like you needed a hug anyways!!!"

"Oh. Well.... Let go." he said, as she does so. "You do know what this duel is for, correct?"

"Yeah. Knivez iz uh being a uh snooty brat & thinks zis will determine ze survival of ze human race, no?" she said with a French accent.

"Uh... Yeah. Your good at those kind of things, huh?"

"Yup!! Want some candy?"

"You bet!!!"

@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@ 

Azi: Sadley, the next chapter is the last. Have fun!!! =^_\


	7. The end... PLUS EPILUOGE!!!!!

**Chapter 7; Oddcicity of Dreams**

"So then, shall we start the duel?" Knives asked, looking straight at Vash.

"I guess so. A traditional duel, then?" Vash asked. "Ten steps away from each other and shoot?"

"If that's what you want." Knives answered.

Legato was on top of the hill, trying to get out of another one of Azi's death hugs. He finally calmed her down and they started watching what was going on. Vash and Knives were back to back and started counting with each step. Azi guessed around five when Knives turned around and took aim. Azi called out and Vash nearly missed having his ear blown off. Then they really started to fight.

"I don't feel so enthusiastic about this any more." Azi said.

"I don't think any human would." Legato said, nodding.

_"KNIVES FIGHTS DIRTY!!!!!!"_ she yelled. Legato nearly had a heart attack.

"Shuttup!!! You wanna git yerself killed?!?!" he asked, covering her mouth. "He might fight dirty but ya never say it out loud where he can _KILL YOU!!!!_"

"Sorry. I just think it's unfair that Vashu has to be fighting against someone who cheats. It's unfair!"

"Everything is unfair." Legato said, taking her bag of candy. "'Cause finders keepers!"

"HEY!!! I bought that with Wolfwood's money!!" Azi growled. "Give it back!!!"

"You're an OK kid, Asuka!" Legato said, clearly confusing Azi. "You stole something, so if you become a freak, there'll be a spot in the GHG's for ya!"

"Whoa... You were dropped on yer head as a baby, weren'tcha?"

"I think so..." Legato said, as a bullet whizzed past his nose. "Eek!!!

_"HEY!! WATCH IT!!!"_ Azi yelled down the hill, a 'sorry' was heard.

Azi sat down, after snatching her candy bag back, and started watching the fight again. It seemed that Vash was losing. Knives seemed unharmed and it looked like Vash was already breathing heavily. _'I can't take this! I hafta help Vash somehow...'_ she thought.

"There is no way to help him without getting hurt yourself, Asuka." Legato said. "I wouldn't let you interfere anyway. This is Master Knives and Vashu the Stampede's duel. To interrupt them wouldn't have good results."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah. Don't you ever speak clearly?" Azi fumed. "Vashu got hit again!"

"I'm sayin' that you ain't going down there to save Vashu the Stampede!!! Got it?!" he snapped. "It's bad enough I hafta baby-sit you. I ain't gonna save you either."

"Touchy." she mumbled.

Vash and Knives ran after each other a bit, shooting. Vash hit Knives, and he fell back, shooting Vash in the shoulder. Both men fell over, sitting on their butts. Knives slowly got up, while Vash was staring at the ground, trying to catch his breath.

"This is where you say good bye, dear brother!" Knives said with hatred filling his voice.

"Legato! He's gonna kill Vashu!" Azi said, starting to run down the hill but stops. "Legato! Let me go, I hafta save Vashu!"

"I cannot allow that Asuka." Legato said quietly. "But, there possibly is a way."

"Huh?" she said out loud, then getting a 'brilliant idea', she points and shouts: _"OH MY GOSH!! WHAT COULD THAT BE?!?!"_

"Hm?" Legato looked behind him and Azi took off running towards Vash. "Oh rats. This is the second time I fell for that."

"I think I will enjoy killing you, Vashu. It was always fun to mess with you." Knives said evilly, taking aim at Vash. "Any last words?"

"Knives... Why?" Vash said slowly. "Why are you- AZI?! Get back up there!!"

"Are you OK, Vashu?" Azi asked standing in front of him. "I won't let you kill him, Knives!"

"Hm. I thought Legato would have stopped you. Oh well, killing another human in front of Vashu will be fun as well." Knives said, taking aim at Azi's chest. "Say good bye."

Azi stood her ground as Knives aimed for the middle of her chest and pulled the trigger. Vash looked on in horror, Knives smirked, and Legato looked on without emotion. As for Azi, all she could see was black...

**Epilogue; Oddcicity of Dreams**

_~Are you happy, Vashu? Now another human died for you.~_ Knives' voice said triumphantly.

_~Azi?! Why'd you do that Azi?!~_ Vash's voice pleaded.

_~Why did she do that? Why would she care so much for someone to give up her life?~_ Legato's voice questioned.

Asuka woke with a start. She looked at her clock. It was 9:57, Saturday. _'What a weird dream.'_ she thought.

She got up and went about her daily business. She went out with her friends, but she had dull stinging pain in the middle of her chest.

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Azi: Well, here ya go. The last chapter to Oddcicity of Dreams. I hope this is better. There's italics!! =^_\

Naruto: B-But I'm not there!"

Azi: This was before I found the wonderful world of Naruto. But I've written Naruto fics, so calm down!

Naruto: But they're centered around Kakashi-sensei!

Azi: You say that like it's a bad thing.... =^_\


End file.
